Are you trying to make a big decision?
Or are you just wondering what to look for in the future?
I had to make that choice just a few months back.
Its not an easy one.
How do you know he is the one?
1. Does he inspire you to be a better you?
What kind of person does he make you want to be? Does he support things that improve you? It is important that he accepts completely who you are, but also expects you to change, improve, develop, and succeed. We say we want people to love us for who we are, but I think its also important to love someone for who they can become, and help them get there.
2. How does he treat other people?
Its easy to say that he's a good guy because he's nice to you, but how does he treat other people? How does he treat his friends, your friends, his mother, or strangers? ( Its also really fun to see the way he interacts around kids :P )
3. What do you think about when you're not with him? What are you excited for?
I love the quote, "To know where your heart is, see where your mind goes when it wanders." When the two of you aren't together are you thinking about him or are you more excited for getting back your most recent test grade or hanging out with your girlfriends? It is easy to tell what you're really into when you see where your mind goes.
4. What are his ambitions?Do you know what they are? Does he talk about them? Is he working toward something? Does he get excited about it? Does he have a good work ethic?
5. Do you enjoy doing things together?
Are you willing to do things the other wants to do? Can you have fun doing the things he is into and will he get involved in things you want him to do? Can you try new things together? Does he support you in what you're doing?
Anything else you can do to gage his levels of selfishness and his ability to sacrifice will help you determine how committed he is and how well he will be able to adapt and give in a relationship.
And the other wonderful thing, is you can pray about it. I don't believe that there is one person out there for everyone, one person that you can be happy with, one person that was meant for you. But there are people that are good for you, people who are better for you. God can help you know whether or he is one of those people, like He did for me with Ben, and then you can choose whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with him. You don't have to worry about whether or not its the right decision. All I had to do was determine that Ben was what I wanted, that God thought it was a good idea, and now I know that if we both work at it, our marriage can last.
Love,
Elisabeth
PS. What do you think is important in a husband?
What are you looking for/ what did you look for in a soulmate?
6 comments:
Elisabeth, you are so smart, and kind, and everything good. I love all your insights on your blog. <3
Have you considered a career as a professional wedding adviser? I think you'd rock it :)
great post! :)
www.modernsuburbanites.blogspot.com
Love this list! As well as all of these things... I had some shallow things on my list. Husband had to be tall, I had to be attracted to him (I mean, come on... if he's gonna be mah baby's daddy, I gotta want him! hahaha TMI, sorry).
But in all seriousness, I really like your number one. That is soooo important. You can't be with someone who doesn't inspire you. I think both partners should think they're getting the better end of the bargain, because when that's the case, each person is inspiring the other, and no one feels like they settled. You should NEVER settle! :)
This is an excellent post and I'm glad you posed those questions. after reading them and answering them, I am even more confident that i am with my soulmate and man I am meant to spend my life with. I hope a proposal is forthcoming in 2012.
I was married for 22 yrs to someone who was just a friend...a roommate. It was convenient to stay in that unsatisfactory relationship which is why I didn't leave till this year. Russell is everything that Brian isn't. I'm still getting used to having such a loving, affectionate and supportive partner. We've been together for nearly a year now and I think about him, us, our future and our goals all the time. I take his heart into everything I do now...including not driving like an erratic maniac like I used to. He cares so much about me and worries that something will happen to me. It took him 30+ years to find me again and he's terrified he'll lose me. I took a huge leap and chance leaving my life on the west coast behind to come back here to be with him and it was worth it.
Very good list. :) Thanks for the advice.
Post a Comment