Wednesday Wedding Details: Rough First Months

People tell me how hard the first few months of marriage are, all the time.

Before I got married it was family friends or girls who knew married people.

When we got back from our honeymoon it was couples we'd meet.

When they found out we'd been married for only a few weeks, the wife would take me aside and say "I promise it gets better, the first months are hard." Without fail, that was the consensus: the beginning of marriage was the hardest.

A few weeks ago I guest posted on this wonderful blog about exactly that, those first few "rough" months of marriage. For those of you who haven't read it, I wanted to share.

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They don’t have to be hard! They’re SO wonderful! You’ve spent your whole life, or at least your whole engagement, waiting to finally be each others, completely each others, and now you are. You’re actually married! How fantastic is that? I remember so many people telling me how rough the first few months of marriage are and how there are going to be so many things that drive you crazy. They all promised me it would get better, but at first it would be very hard.

Fact: Ben and I aren’t perfect. There are things he does that I would prefer he didn’t and things that really hurt my feelings. There are things I do I am sure he would rather never have to deal with.

Falsehood: When something bothers you it has to be a big deal, it has to be hard, or you have to take it personally.

I got a great piece of advice the week before I got married:

“When you’re hurt - NEVER think he did it on purpose.”

This has made all the difference! When he leaves dishes in the sink, or makes an off hand comment I don’t appreciate, or tells me he isn’t hungry when I’ve planned a great dinner for that night - I have to remember that he wasn’t thinking:

“It’s Elisabeth’s job to wash these anyway and she isn’t busy enough as it is,”

“I don’t care about what you said”

or “I don’t appreciate the good food my wife has worked hard to make for me”

(even if that’s the way I initially took it).

I find it really helpful to just talk to him.

“Ben, when you say this - I hear this.”

He looks at me wide-eyed and is like “that’s not what I meant at all!” and its all better :)

The first few months are a lot about communication. You’ve been communicating all along but now you live together. Now there’s an unbreakable commitment. If you can remember how much you love each other no matter what is happening...and if you can remind yourself that he loves you too much to do something like that on purpose, whatever it is... a short conversation and a long hug are all it takes to fix anything :)

Maybe this is all very naive. 
Maybe it’ll get a lot harder sometime soon. 
Maybe I have no idea what I’m talking about. But so far, so good! :)

Love,

Elisabeth

What do you think would be hardest about the first newly wed months?

Do you have any tips on how to make them easy?

If I had unlimited frequent flyer miles....

TICKET TO PARADISE

Check out my "Oh the places I'll go" board on pinterest to see where there's places actually are!

If you could go anywhere in the world...where would you be?

Snapshots of Thanksgiving Break

My one regret about this thanksgiving is I hardly took ANY pictures!

But thanks to google images and a few of my own I can still give you a glimpse of our break. 

Ben's parents got in Wednesday night and the four of us enjoyed a lovely leisurely dinner at Olive Garden (one of my favorites). The only problem with that place is before my food has even arrived I've eaten my fill of their heavenly breadsticks! It was nice to spend some time just the four of us before the business of the holiday festivities began.  (image: middle left)

Thanksgiving morning Ben and I slept in because dinner wasn't till five (yeah I know its super late, but his cousin had dinner at the in-laws at 1 and we were waiting for her :) After a breakfast of crepes and baking chocolate chip pumpkin bread (recipe coming later this week), we headed over to the Y-jump with one of our bikes so Ben could get a little adrenalin and exercise before all that food. I was just the photographer but I did get on a bike for the first time since the sprain (kind of a big deal). I was just grateful Ben didn't die on this jump. (Image: bottom right)

Dinner that night was delicious. We ate at his aunt and uncle's in Salt Lake with his parents, two cousins, and two very entertaining dogs. The highlight of the meal was the garlic mashed potatoes until they took out this heavenly dessert: pumpkin cheesecake in a gingerbread crust (recipe here). It was so much better than any pumpkin pie I've ever had and I didn't even think I liked cheesecake! (Image: bottom center).

We headed off for a crazy night of shopping when we met Dave and Sarahjane at Walmart at 10. It was insane. Needless to say I had nightmares that night when we finally got to sleep at about three of getting trampled. I'll be sharing all my black friday deals with you as part of friday favorites this week so I wont spoil any of them here. (Image: middle left)

Friday afternoon after a bit more shopping we met up with the family again to go see the new natural history museum at the University of Utah. There were SO many neat things to see! My favorite were the dinosaurs (maybe because we just watched Jurassic Park?). As cool as the museum was we were simply exhausted by the end of it and crashed back at his aunts for two hours of much needed sleep. 

(Image: top left)

That evening after another dinner at Ben's aunts we walked around Temple Square in Salt Lake and saw all the lights. If you live in the Salt Lake area the lights at Temple Square are a MUST this season! Ben and I are going back for sure. (Image: middle middle)

All the shopping and late nights did me in so after a lazy day on Saturday trying to get over a slight cold and sore throat, we met everyone in Salt Lake for thai food. Pad Thai is one of our favorite dishes and it was great to see everyone one last time. (Image:: top right)

The festivities continued with the traditional pie night at the Lee's on Sunday night. This was my first year but apparently everyone eats out of the same pie. (Image: top center) I refrained because I was still sick but it was fun sitting and visiting with everyone and hearing about their thanksgivings. (Image: bottom left)

Overall it was a great weekend that has made me not want to be back at school, and has made me so very very very excited to be going home to my family on the east coast in just a few weeks!

Love,

Elisabeth 

PS. How was your thanksgiving?

Do you have any fun thanksgiving traditions?

Don't forget to check back this week for a wednesday wedding details post from the groom, a great holiday recipe, and my black friday finds :) 

Monday's Pick Me Up: Smile

Happy Monday!

Today was so hard to get out of bed. After a vacation of relaxing we didn't want it to be over.

Ben had to leave early and I'm still not feeling very well (the lack of sleep and Black Friday shopping gave me a cold and the sore throat is still lingering).

But, its a beautiful day.

We only have a few weeks of school left.

And this time next month, we'll be snuggled into the wooded hills of New Hampshire.

There's always more to be happy about than there is to be miserable about.

So, Smile :) 

46. Afternoon classes.

47. Someone to walk to school with.

48. Waking up to phone calls from Ben.

49. Long hot showers. 

An INSPIRED guest post: Immersing

Happy Sunday! While I get caught up on documenting our own thanksgiving adventures and basking in this last day of vacation before crunch time begins - I wanted to share a very special guest post with you. 

To put it simply - I love Rachel's blog. She is truly inspiring. And as part of my new "Inspired" series, I wanted to share her with all of you. I hope that you can feel her love for our Savior and her devotion to him as strongly as I can. If you ever want a reminder on what's important, a place to refocus your priorities, I suggest you take a look:

Introducing Rachel @ Dramatic Elegance 

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i never understood this thing of immersing. 

all my life, in movies and television, i’ve seen this strange thing. this thing of submerging oneself into a warm bath, entirely, from head to toe. hair and all, even without shampoo. 

it’s just something you do when the world is loud, and you crave silence, i thought then. but i myself had never done it before. i didn’t understand. 

until tonight. i felt tousled, both physically and emotionally. i felt as though the entire world was echoing around me, and i needed a place of quiet, of sorts. 

and so i drew myself a bath. and i let the water wash over my body, from neck to toes. but i kept my hair pulled up and piled, not letting even a strand near the aquatic service. 

but His voice started to tug at my soul. 

lower yourself, dearheart

let yourself sink.

into the water and into Me.

and i slid downward and into the water. i could feel my hair swirling under the surface, caressing my face like some strange seaweed. and i found myself in the silence. 

His silence. this place of lowering myself and letting go. embracing the strange and releasing control.

and i could feel His smile as He whispered

do you understand now?

this is what I mean when I say

“when you pass though the water, I will be with you.”

and i arose from the water with hair drenched and water droplets coursing down my cheeks like aromatic tears of a healing sort. 

because this was a baptism, in a way. a letting go and a renewal. 

it was a passing, just He and i. 

and becoming immersed in Him. 

******

--r.a.c.h.e.l. -- writer. dreamer. lover. daughter of Aslan. roaring lamb. drinker of tea, coffee, and Dr. Pepper. in excess. captivated by my King. in love with my groom of almost two years. blogger at DramaticElegance. you can find my heart and soul there. learning to love lowercase letters and imperfect prose. inspiration comes from all around us. addicted to C.S. Lewis and J.K. Rowling.

rose petal smile and watercolour eyes. 

---

Wonderful isn't it?

What inspires you? 

Just adding to my gratitude list... for project thankful

I actually had a friend start her own project grateful just today and would encourage all of you to do the same...we don't just have to be thankful once a year :) 

If you do - be sure to let me know!

36. A husband who loves me a lot.

37. A husband who takes care of me when I'm sick.

38. A wonderful new family to spend thanksgiving with.

39. The chance to be going home in just three and a half weeks!

40. These really comfy new pants I'm wearing. 

41. Advil. enough said. 

42. A warm apartment to come home to.

43. A toothbrush. 

44. Thai food. 

45. Never having to fall asleep alone anymore. 

Don't forget to check back tomorrow for my INSPIRED guest blogger :) 

goodnight :) 

elisabeth 

24 is back

24 is back! 

at least in our apartment

One of our best black friday finds was the last three seasons for $10 a piece.

A little background: before we even started dating Ben and I began watching the fourth season together and I credit its suspenseful brilliance with the beginning of our inseparableness ;) 

Anyway, thanksgiving was lovely and I'll have updates on our weekend, our black friday finds, and a delicious holiday treat recipe coming soon but for now we're off to dinner in Salt Lake with Ben's family before his parents drive back tomorrow. 

And if you've never seen 24, and don't want to become thoroughly addicted and immersed in a high intensity epic show, then DON'T start watching a single episode. But, if you're looking for a little entertainment, 24 is the top of our list :) We have to have them on DVD because we couldn't possibly wait a week between episodes :) 

Love,

Elisabeth

PS. How was your thanksgiving? 

What shows are you addicted to? 

I know I already posted today....

but in honor of thanksgiving I wanted to share some pinterest love, and some inspiration. 

    

29. A comfortable bed.

30. A husband that is so hardworking. 

31. Vacations from school.

32. Love stories that warm me up.

33. Mashed potatoes (also something I'm excited for). 

34. Flexible airline agencies (a rare find). 

35. Inspiring blogs.

Oh and what do you think of the new blog layout? I think I'm finally almost done with it :) 

Wednesday Wedding Details: My Wedding Tips

The other day I was driving to lunch, and Noodles and Company of course, with a dear friend when she asked me a surprising question:

What did you like about your wedding, and looking back, what would you change?

My answer turned into a few tips of what I did, and didn't do that she should make sure she did... so I thought I'd share.

1. Have incredible food. People remember the food. The food can make the wedding. Have you ever been to a wedding with fantastic food that you just thought was so-so? I have been to plenty of weddings where the food was the let down. Do your guests, and yourself (you’re eating too!) a favor, have incredible food. 

Bertucci's Rolls: To die for

2.  Think photographs. Three months, or Thirty years from now...you’ll have your husband, and you’ll have photographs. Make sure they’re good. Make sure you captured what you wanted. When I picked bridesmaid dresses I thought photographs. When I picked colors I thought photographs. And when I picked my dress, I was certainly thinking photographs. (I'll spare you from posting a million pictures - check out Wednesday Wedding Details other posts for more :)

I loved the back of this dress so much

I love how big the train was!

cute right?

he seriously should model tuxes

3. Don’t have a to-do list.  On you wedding day, don’t have responsibilities. Don’t have anything you have to do other than look beautiful, be happy, and marry the love of your life. Have you honeymoon bags packed, have someone in charge of everything, and take every second you can to enjoy your day - because it really is a magical day.

4. Surround yourself with people you love. You don’t need anyone else besdies your husband there to make your day perfect, but loved ones make it all the more wonderful.

There is a lot more I could say on weddings but for now I'll leave it at that.

Other updates: Ben's parents are in town and they are taking us to dinner tonight. That means 2 things: One, very yummy food. Two, a day of lots of cleaning before they get here tonight.

Love,

Elisabeth

PS. What are your plans for thanksgiving?

Which of the wedding pictures are your favorite?

What is your wedding advice?

DIY: Save the World [one click at a time]

Yes, that's right, just one single click. 

Here's how it works:

You go to: 

http://www.thehungersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=1

and click.

Their sponsors donate a cup of food for every click.

They are willing to sponsor because they also get to advertise on the site.

They hope you buy things from them

But you DONT have to for them to donate the cup of food for your click!

All the food goes to starving children in the horn of Africa

(Ethiopia, Somalia, etc).

So lets save the world.

Or at least feed a few starving kids in Africa okay?

Leave a comment if you've clicked! 

Birthday Festivities and a Winner!

Yes, my birthday was 2 weeks ago but I finally uploaded pictures and here are the details :) 

We started celebrations on Sunday - our 3 month anniversary. 

We had birthday dinner in Highland with some cousins and a night of games.

We came back in time to straighten up our little place and whip up a chocolate cake. 

That night we had a few friends over for cake and toasts 

(with a variety of flavors of sparkling cider of course).

I was quite excited to use all of our thin stemmed glasses :) 

Monday I spent the day taking a midterm, a quiz or two, and working or in class from 8 - 5. 

Turns out I really like going to school on my Birthday, especially when everyone seems to know and from across campus people yell happy birthday, or everyone in the office gives you congratulations, or you cousin gets the teacher to announce it to the class. Oh, and it doesn't get better than my whole Japanese class singing happy birthday (in english, with japanese accents). 

Ben picked me up after classes and we went home before going to Noodles and Company. 

I opened my beautiful present form him too. 

Seriously, sometimes I think he has better fashion sense than I do. 

Pink tweed coat. Win. 

After a yummy dinner we went to visit roommates who showered me with some of my favorites.

We rushed off to Spark (my favorite nonalcoholic bar) but it was CLOSED!

I was actually really sad about that.

but.....

it turned out to be a very good thing.

Because when we got home there were three people standing outside our door singing me happy birthday.

And ten minutes later another two showed up.

So we had a second impromptu birthday party :) 

Birthday festivities continued with packages from my family (pink plaid sperrys, yes please :) 

 and the getaway at the lodge

and Bombai House (indian is my favorite) for dinner last Saturday. 

I love Birthdays. 

Thanks to everyone, especially my wonderful husband, who made it such a wonderful week :) 

AND...

I'm so excited to announce the winner of my very first giveaway

(of awesome digital scrapbooking software)

She deserved to win given how many times she entered. 

She is also an incredible photographer (note the first pictures above) so I'm sure she'll do great things with this software :) 

.....and the winner is ....

Carly Cook over at Together We Can 

Congrats Carly :) 

If you didn't win but still really want to use this software (I used to to do my pictures above), mymemories is offering all of my readers at $10 discount on this awesome product. 

just use the code: STMMMS17415 at check out. 

Happy Monday Everyone!

Are you really excited for the holidays?

You can bet I am :) 

Love,

Elisabeth 

Our Weekend Getaway

Last weekend Ben and I headed down to Southern Utah (about a 4 hour drive) to our family lodge in the middle of nowhere. When I say middle of nowhere I mean that you get off the highway in a small town, drive 30 minutes to a town of 500 people, and then drive an hour into the sage brush that is Southern Utah. 

I used to spend time here every summer. It started with all our cousins camping outside the old cabin (pictured below) and about ten years ago we upgraded to this 7 bedroom beauty. The pool and tennis courts never really got finished but its still fantastic. The whole thing is decorated very traditionally (think native american, cowboy, you name it). You see, my grandpa grew up our here, in the middle of nowhere. He was a cowboy. And he made sure we got a taste of it. We would spend our summers riding horses, cooking over fires, building forts, hiking, running away from rattle snakes... 

I was so excited to take Ben down for a cousins weekend hosted by my wonderful Aunt and Uncle from California. We had a blast. 

Isn't it just gorgeous?

The Indian themed room Ben and I stayed in

All the cousins outside the old cabin

the view from the porch - and my beautiful cousin lauren 

taken from the side of the road - sometimes they were on the road - we had to be careful!

We can't wait to go back! 

Love,

Elisabeth 

Friday Favorites: Holidays! and a Holiday Tradition Swap

Happy Friday :) 

I was so tired today for some reason, and I am so excited it is the weekend...and ALMOST officially holiday season! I love the holidays. It is my absolute favorite time of year. I love it so much I am almost tempted to say that my favorite season is winter, almost. 

We are spending Thanksgiving with Ben's family and then flying back east to spend Christmas with mine (although I guess both of them are simply 'ours' now :) I am so excited. I am excited for food, company, enough sleep, relaxing, friends, giving presents (and getting them too I guess. side note: my mom just told me she's throwing a lia sophia party so my christmas will be jewelry heavy this year...and I"m rather happy about that :).

My love of the holidays made me really excited when I found out that Whitney, over that The Zufelt's is doing a Holiday Traditions Swap. Here's how it works: you get paired up with a buddy and you mail each other a package of something that represents one of your favorite holiday traditions. How neat is that! You should probably all just decide to do it :) If you're interested just email Whitney at <thezufeltsblog.gmail.com> so she can get it all organized. Who knows, maybe you'll get my amazing package. Kidding of course, but I'm already thinking about which tradition I want to share :) 

I would love to know what you're favorite holiday traditions are...but instead of asking I'm going to say you should head over to Whiney's blog and join our package swap so I can hear about them when we all share our packages on Dec, 20th :) 

Are you doing anything fun for thanksgiving? 

Any suggestions on good thanksgiving treats? 

Love,

Elisabeth 

19. Cuddling in the morning.

20. Delicious tomato basil soup. 

21. Dominating my geography test.

22. Making new friends.

23. Having lots of family so close.

24. Cell phones so I can call my mom on the other side of the country.

25. Not having to cook dinner every night. 

26. Only having 11 days of school left this semester.

27. Really good professors. 

28. Being able to almost rock climb again.